Taylor Swift's life has been in the public eye since she began her music career in 2006. From headlines detailing her personal life to negative comments surrounding her name, she hasn't faced stardom easily. In 2020, Taylor released her intimate documentary, 'Miss Americana' where she gives us a glimpse into her life, personal struggles, and pressure of being a woman in the music industry.
CNN | Christopher Polk | Penske Media |Getty Images
The critically acclaimed film was given its name due to her being the face of American culture, American dream, and maintaing the facade of the carefree country star. As we get a detailed look into her hectic but incredible life, we're also given a look into aspects of it that we may not recognize.
As we begin by exploring her youth through old song-writing journals, Taylor explains her internal dialogue of maintaining a presence that is consistently perceived as 'good' or perhaps in a way, striving for perfection. Receiving appraisal for Taylor signified success and should always be something to seek out and approval was a massive desire in her career and personal life.
Although live performances being commented as show stopping, fans screaming her name all year long, and successful music releasing at every moment, we get the first glimpse of the struggle with outward approval in the VMA incident with Kanye West. In that moment, the perception of her from fans are audience members were put on a pedestal and for the first time, she felt her world begin the crumble.
Due to this vulnerable moment, she recognized the loss of control over how others react but found sanctuary in controlling what she could express within her music. From this, her shift away from country music began as she curated a newfound persona to express within her artistry.
This shift within her music was felt in her album 'Red' and most prominently in '1989'. This change in her music was apparent in her vocals, production, stage presence, and musical themes. She found a new adoration for other genres of music in her work such as pop & synth-pop music, specifically with his singles 'Style', 'Bad Blood', 'Wildest Dreams', and 'Blank Space'. Swift seemed to have officially found herself within music and was able to curate songs that felt authentic to her.
The win of Album of the Year at The Grammy's was finally snagged by Taylor for '1989' and despite feeling the overwhelming sensation of "I did it", she was only left with wondering what to do next. This empty feeling felt not only terrifying but left her in a lonely place where she felt a massive disconnect with where she wanted to go from here and who she wanted to become.
Los Angeles Times | Alexandra Del Rosario | Kevin Mazur | WireImag
Although Swift was rediscovering herself in her genre shift, Kanye West released 'The Life Of Pablo' in 2016, which disses Taylor in his song 'Famous', despite their one-sided feud occurring years prior. Headlines, comments, tabloids, and more swirled from West's release along with negative falsities surrounding Taylor's personal life and relationships. Unimportant news stories were curated and painted Swift in a negative light, which dug under her skin and became too much for her to bear. To Taylor, it felt as though the world was against her and led her into a year-long hiatus.
The pressure to abide by these seeming desires of millions to step away became her only option and she took the time to curate the life and world she wanted to be in. Stepping away from the spotlight was much needed for her mental health and she was finally able to build her romantic relationship in a safe space.
During the hiatus, Taylor was learning to normalize speaking up for herself after spending years in her 'Miss Americana' mold. Although it was under difficult circumstances, the court case between Swift and former DJ was a pivotal moment for her as she was regaining her strength & voice. The court case was unrelated to money as she sued him for a measly $1 following his initial lawsuit of $3 million. Taylor defending herself was far more than for monetary or highlighting the atrocities. It was correcting a wrongdoing, giving herself a voice finally, and standing up for others who have also been victimized.
Despite Taylor winning the case, the psychological toll she felt and empathy for other victims made winning the case meaningless, however, it became a key event that would remind her of the strength of her words and would no longer sit silent.
Philadelphia Inquirer | Dan DeLuca | Elizabeth Robertson | Staff Photographer
In 2017, Taylor rejoined the industry with new album 'reputation' that toys with the previous years' events, tabloids, and other headlines that scrutinized her life. The appearance of 'America's Sweetheart' began to fade as she rediscovered herself and broke free of the restrictive mold.
Despite the massive worldwide success of the album, we're met with the phone call revealing the shocking news that 'reputation' wasn't nominated for a Grammy. Teary-eyed, she follows up with the comment of "I guess I just need to make a better record" and visually spirals down the path of negative thinking and self-doubt.
The cycle of putting her self-worth into others' opinions, accolades, and expectations of others became draining for Swift. Not only did she struggle musically and the pressure of what will bring her success all while releasing music that she loved, but she found difficulty in loving herself whole-heartedly.
A clip of Taylor in the car after leaving her home with paparazzi and fans surrounding the building gave us the chance for an intimate conversation with Taylor discussing her previous experience with disordered eating and body dysmorphia. She continued by illustrating the negative cycle of tabloids or posted unflattering photos of her that would send her into a spiral of poor eating habits and negative self-talk. We're given glimpses into pieces of her past where she explains her behind-the-scenes unhealthy habits that controlled her for years, however, she no longer allows herself to fall back into those old patterns.
The vulnerability she displays in loving her physical appearance hit us right in the heart strings as millions of us can empathize. Between the societal pressure, comments from the press, and internal dialogue, it became a draining series that she became determined to break.
Taylor Swift | Youtube
One special feature we were gifted in the documentary is the behind the scenes look at Taylor's creative process, as seen with the 2019 album 'Lover'. Viewers have the opportunity to see the beauty within her unique lyricism and pure joy that goes into every aspect of the songwriting process. Reverting back to Swift's early years as an artist, through childhood, to her first release, we're reminded of how far she has come to where she is now from her first record to more recent ones. From storyline changes in her life, to breakups, to newfound dreams, viewing the full timeline of her musical genius is nothing short of incredible.
With Swift learning to break the mold of her more 'perfectionist' front, she's also learning to stand up and voice the ideas that truly matter to her and are untouched territory for her. A pivotal election was taken place in Tennessee where Swift felt the immense urge to vocalize her opinions on the matter. At an early age, she knew the controversy that came with speaking up in general, however, openly discussing political matters were far more delicate.
Swift felt it was normal to shut her mouth and deter herself from certain topics as to not cause contention within the formative years of her career and appease the expectations of others, however, she was not erasing these boundaries. The feud between her societal image versus what was right ended with her proudly speaking her mind on a topic she feels connected to. Despite the negative press, commentary, and backlash she was sure to receive, the undeniable impact she had on this significant part in history will never be in vain. Yet another incredible moment for Swift as she finds the confidence within herself to speak up after years of staying quiet, which marked another crumble of the perfectionist wall she was adamant on breaking.
The fear behind changing her music, appearance, and perception to people allowed her to reconnect with her authentic self and although she was scrutinized by thousands, the millions of fans from the beginning have continued to stand by her side.
We were gifted in seeing this behind the scenes look at Taylor's life, internal battles, uphill climbs, achievements, and more. She continues to grow up and grow her music into the person she is today, which is why she is one of the most successful artists in the music industry to date. Through vulnerability, empathy, and pure honesty, she will be an idol for millions of individuals across the world.
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