Scottish singer and songwriter, Lewis Capaldi had taken the world by storm since his first hit single in 2017. He has consistently topped the charts with his heart-wrenching tracks, personable lyrics, and relatable personality. With his quick rise to fame, consistency in releasing music, and touring worldwide, Lewis released his documentary allowing him to open up about personal struggles, his mental health, and as the title of the short film, tell the world ‘How I’m Feeling Now’.
Billboard | Shirlaine Forrest | WireImage
The Netflix original features the timeline of Lewis’s success, family life, growing up, experience with anxiety, journey with tourettes, pressure within the music industry, and the curation of his latest album. We were able to see Lewis in a whole new light as we explored this other side of him that we don’t typically see.
His adoration for music began at an early age as he’s a self-taught guitarist and began singing live at the age of 14 at local venues. We were given a personal tour of his childhood home and introduced to his family as we navigated their experience with Lewis as a child. From his early love of music to comedic personality that is present still today, the exclusive view gave us another look into Lewis’s life. Jumping back to 2020, he moved back home to write his next album and rediscovered the missing connection to his true self, which was desperately needed. With the constant traveling, jumping from songwriter to songwriter, and exhaustion from performing, the retreat to his hometown centered around slowness was a much needed break.
The covid season brought both the connection he craved from his friends, family, and hometown but also the self-induced pressure to get creative & write for his next album. The immense stress hasn’t only brought with it an emotional toll but has affected him physically. Lewis took us to his home studio where he would let his creativity shine and gave us a raw look into how he writes some of his incredible songs but also where his negative dialogue seems to be at its heaviest. The pressure he puts on himself to create a hit similar to his previously successful songs seems to be the main thought in his mind. Throughout the entire writing process to even the production of the song, he will always stick to his guns and take his family's criticisms about his newly written tracks to heart. The ticking clock reference is something that Lewis resorts to with the pressure intensifying as he races against the clock in creating the world’s next biggest hit. With this pressure comes less adoration for his music and his family notices this as well, in which they ask him "Is the music the real Lewis?”. Music to him has felt like a constant cycle to release new music despite the damage it has done to his mental health.
Despite the creativity flow that came from his home studio, it’s also a place where he felt the most physical pain. Sitting down by the piano brought him immense back discomfort and would trigger his tics to the point where he’d have no other choice but to stop. Although this struggle with tourettes had been prevalent since youth, it became more pronounced as stress and anxiety became a daily norm and his family has expressed immense concern for him. One difficult instance was during his live show where he was forced to stop singing as his tourettes became all-consuming and his inner dialogue that he was failing his team became too much.
Lewis Capaldi | LewisCapaldi.com
Lewis used the documentary to open up about this part of his life and even dove deep in detailing his battle with anxiety. His mother described multiple instances where Lewis’s panic attack became so severe that it would last hours spanning across multiple days no matter where he was in the world. Much of this experience with hypochondria, specifically his immense fear of death is connected to the passing of his aunt at a young age. This early experience with passing of a loved one imprinted on Lewis and became a main area of anxiety. The track ‘Before You Go’ was inspired by this personal passing as he odes it to his late aunt.
Much of his dearest memories were surrounded by his childhood home, from early experiences with music to growing up. As Lewis packs up his things from his old bedroom, he details the pain of leaving the safety net of his home. With the constantly changing life that he has, having a place that feels consistent is extremely important to him, which thousands of people can empathize with.
In the midst of the documentary, the team and Lewis decided to take a 4 month break to commit to his mental health & be in the healthiest place possible before continuing with the album and short film. Within this needed time off, he has devoted his time to fitness, healthy eating, therapy, and finding the best ways to cope with this looming pressure and his anxiety-induced turrets.
As we near the end of the short film, we see a happier and more free version of Lewis with nothing but complete support from his team and the prioritization of time off as he reemerges back into the music space and performing. We get a sneak peak into the final version of his single ‘Forget Me’ as he reaches number 1 and his first performance at the 02 Arena, which marked his first live solo show in over 3 years.
The journey that Lewis has had within music has been a quick one and the pressure became more daunting with each year. With the platform that he has, this short film gave us not only a personable experience with mental health struggles but gives others the reminder they need to prioritize it. He has opened up the conversation surrounding anxiety & tourettes syndrome in reminding us that we’re not alone.
Learn more about tourette's syndrome at the links below:
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